Monday, 10 March 2008

hell hath no fury like Grandma

My uncle sends me all the best funnies....

Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,

'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

11 comments:

Mr Lady said...

That is gorgeous in every way. God I hope she doesn't know me.

JenOnTheEdge said...

That is so funny.

Angewl said...

I say 'hahahahahaha'

kenny says 'hehehehehe'

Loth said...

Very funny. I do actually remember being told in class when I was a law student that you should never ask a question in court to which you don't already know the answer!

beagle said...

Love this one!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

hahaha! I 'm a lying low till grandma leaves town.

Christy said...

My sister is dating the prosecutor in a small southern town--I'm going to send him this! Thanks!

angelfeet said...

Funny!

Jenty said...

LMAO! That's the funniest thing I've read in ages!

Molly said...

I wonder if she knew Mr. Spitzer?

Erin said...

I love that joke. Cracks me up.

Also, loved LOVED Molly's comment about Mr.Spitzer.