Saturday, 24 November 2007

things of which I am suspicious

via Schmutzie

#1*Hot tea sold without the bag in. Tim Horton's does this, and it always makes me wonder not only how long the tea has been sitting there, but what they're hiding. Inferior tea? Substandard cleaning practices? Really old grotty teamakers? Also, why?

#2*People who are always neat and pressed. These are the people whose lives are untouched by pets, celebrations, children, friends, hobbies, or events. Cardboard Barbie, anyone? Seriously, I like the flaws, the oddities. I like that we're not all the same. I like that we get messy with life and living it.

#3*Children with unwashed faces. Now, not them, specifically. Their parents. Why aren't you paying attention, and why do you feel it's okay for you to be cruising the grocery store with little Charlie smeared with what looks like a days worth of food all over his mouth? (and in my mind, this has NOTHING to do with #2.)

#4*Rap music. It just doesn't seem to do much but bitch and complain, and talk about being angry. There's not much joy in it, is there?

#5*Being outdoors after dark. I loved horror movies growing up. I watched the X-files religiously. Somehow, that has assimilated itself into my adult consciousness as something with red eyes is waiting in the woods. I don't know why. I (really) know there's nothing bigger than a deer in the woods. Maybe a bear, but they don't tend to come over this way - and bears don't scare me, because you can smell bears before you see them.

#6*Buying fish anywhere but off the dock. This includes supermarkets and the men who sell fish out of coolers in pickup trucks. (Is this just a Nova S thing? Everyone around here is shocked that I'm nonplussed by this.)

There's more, but I have to go corral C and his friend - I hear suspicious thumping noises and I think they're practicing throwing apples at the woodshed roof again....

Take. Steal. Make it your own.

8 comments:

Joke said...

Down here we have a lot of that. Wildly different fish, I'm sure, but the principle applies.

Mind you, I do make an exception for a certain secret fish market here run entirely by Japanese guys. (I'm pretty sure I'm the only gaijin who comes in.) They carry NOTHING flown in -- ask for salmon and you might get a nikiri upside the head -- and everything is no more than a few hours off the boat.

I life for fanatical purveyors such as these guys.

-J.

Spanglish said...

I love this post. I will definitely play.

evilpinkcupcake said...

ohhhhhhh I HATE dirty faced kids too!! With an absolute passion! I clean Boogies face like 42 times a day, I mean it's NOT hard!

No one wants to see dirty, food covered, kool aid stained, booger crusted faces! It's just not right...

wordgirl said...

I'm with you about the unwashed kids' faces. I'm surprised my own have any skin left on their faces after the years of scrubbing and nose wiping. Even a bubbly nose on a toddler with a cold drives me up the wall!!

witchypoo said...

I am suspicious of anything I touch in a public place. I just know that there is a nosepicker who has touched it before me.

meggie said...

I like this. I might steal it.
We have the fellows with ice bins flogging fish & prawns in trucks too. Never buy off them.

PBfish said...

Yeah. Neat and pressed worries me too. Sometimes I see these super perfect guys on Muni (public transit) with fabulous cashmere coats and perfectly pressed pants and I just wonder how the hell they do it. And the women wearing WHITE on public transit and totally rocking the outfit with no stains.
I might be guilty of occasionally letting Z have some food on his face till we get somewhere where his shrieks of rage won't make everyone's ears bleed....

Sharon said...

They do the fish-out-of-the-truck thing in Maine, too. And down here in TX, they sell beef jerkey.