Remember that commercial (I can't, for the life of me, remember what they were selling) where the woman takes an air-horn out of her purse, and everytime the salesman she's talking to says something she doesn't like, she drowns him out?
I think I want one of those.
B: Honey, I think the washing machine BLLLAAAAT dead in the BLLLAAAAT We should think about getting a BLAAAAT BLLLAAAAAT BLLLLAAAATTT.
Cass: But, Mo-om, I don't wanna go to bed. How about I stay up and BLLLLAAAATTTT
(he stops talking)
Me: It's a school night.
Cass: But I want to BLLLAAAT BLLLAAAT BLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAT.
Me: No.
Cass: (opens his mouth)
Me: BLLLAAAAAATTTTT
Don't mess with Mom, mister.
Rosey: Dolly wants to go outside now. (She heads for door.)
(Rosey is wearing a hat, striped socks,a t-shirt, and panties. Dolly is bundled into a romper and R's treasured blankie. It's 50 degrees outside.)
Me: (mildly) Not until you've got some clothes on.
R: (heads starts revolving) Wha? Wha? You're NO FUN! You're MEAN! You -
Me: BLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
C'mon, you have to admit it'd be handy. And (cough) fun.
9 comments:
I would like one too, thanks.
Sign me up!!!!!
nope, still want a tranquiliser gun.
and the only ad I can remember from your part of the world, is the old lady "I've fallen over and I can't get up". Ages old!
Maybe we can all band together and get a volume discount. Though the tranquilizer gun is a good idea too. Hey, maybe a Christmas gift set containing one of each! It'd be the mom's gift of choice this year for sure.
I wish I had one of those here at work!
Hook me up with one of those air-horn/tranq gun gift sets - it's the gift that keeps on giving!!
ummm that is what I would like for Christmas! In fact send two! One for each hand.... Does it come in hot pink?
You may think mothers need one, but let me suggest that teachers need one even more. For example, the little dears that I had for the first two hours this morning...
Splendid post. Had me giggling.
we should open a store--my greeting card line on one side, your airhorns, the tranq gun...and a quiet room for women to spend the worst day of their period where a masseusse* costs $1 and will give here another massage free when her cramps come back in two hours.
There's a reason there are so many women entrepreneurs--we have such great ideas!!
*the masseuse would get paid by grant money, because $1 is a pittance, even I know that.
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