We don't always know what the other one is thinking.
It's been a hard last few days here - the barfing pestilence has taken down both children in turn and B has been fighting off a cold. We've been trading night-duties with the kids (wow, so this is what four am looks like! I haven't seen this in years!) and the resulting sleep fog and general uncertainty has made for some harrowing conversations.
Because while I have sympathy for those feeling ill, I do not have unlimited patience with trashed houses and things left undone.*
Being sick brings out the worst in us as a couple. I snap because I am so freaking busy, are you kidding me? and B feels like I am targeting him and gets defensive and mulish.
So this morning I was at the computer, reading about something and B called my name.
I was sure he was going to ask for a drink. Or could I do something....and I'd just sat down, and 'WHAT!' I ungraciously trumpeted back, barely stopping myself from clutching my head with the injustice of it all. Could he not see that I needed a few minutes to myself? Why didn't he see that I was going to explode if he didn't just get the goddamn tissues himself!!
There was a small silence. 'Happy Birthday' he said.
I spoke around a mouthful of leather. "Thwanks."
*We picked up something from that Gawd-awful kid show the Big (Blue??) Couch (CLOWN/woman and her clown/rag doll have adventures in their livingroom. It's RIVETING stuff.) about a ten-second tidy. I don't care if you are near death, you can do anything for a minute. One child gets the toys, one gets the shoes/assorted crappe and the adults get whatever's left. It's fairly effective and keeps me from going batshit crazy from the clutter.