Wednesday, 25 March 2009

something stinks

(gracious, ladylike readers of this blog? Leave now. Come back tomorrow.)

There are many things I should not do. These things include not clobbering the kids, not mixing bleach and ammonia and not making Cass wear yellow pants to school. (Nope on all three.) I should not curse, I should not wear horizontal stripes, I should not put too much chili powder in B's food. (Also no, mostly.)

New number one on the list? I should NOT feed the dog table scraps. Ever.

And it came down from the heavens: Thou shalt not feed thy dog table scraps, or risk a large smell.


Note to all brown dog owners: Never feed the dog leftover pasta pie with italian sausage.

I'm surprised the air hasn't turned blue. Or he hasn't spontaneously combusted.

This is the cute end. Seriously.

Jasper says: My bum just whistled again! If I turn on the sad eyes, will you feed me more?

15 comments:

mapsgirl said...

Ah yes. We have had this same problem.

Woman in a Window said...

Aw, come on, just a few table scraps...just hide the matches, k?

TX Poppet said...

The fun part is when they pouf, turn and give you an accusing glance, then leave. Naturally everyone else in the room will believe it was you not the dog. Man's best friend? Not when there is potentially humiliating wind.

witchypoo said...

Wonder what Jasper smells like after eating turds? Dogs do that, you know.
And yet? I love them.

laughingatchaos said...

Ohhh...my dear Rosie has done that, and I'm STILL trying to figure out WTF she ate! Months ago! LOL! Methinks she snuck something. ;)

Lynn (Walking With Scissors) said...

An ex-boyfriend with Colitis used to blame all of his nausea-inducing aromas on MY dog. Just one of many reasons why he is an EX. Though, to be fair, the dog definitely did have enough pungent aromas of his own...

Ree said...

ahahhahahahahahhahahhahahah.

Mary G said...

YOu obviously need a copy of 'Farley the Farting Dog' at your house, quick. And some charcoal, if you can get him to eat it.

Mike said...

Your dog and I have the same problem with spicy food. Everyone pays for it later...

Dory said...

Elli does that, too and then she puts her "sorry ears" on and leaves the room. We've done this dance a time or two. If she's smart enough to leave the room before I yell "Oh, $%##%^, get the hell outta here!", why isn't she smart enough to leave the room THEN poof?

May-B said...

Note: Also do not feed dog left over garlic dry ribs. She will have very bad diarrhea and then will roll in it.

M&Co. said...

Our lab is alwasy eating crap from the yard. Grass, tree limbs, pecans, random toys the BoyChild has left outside. Rice cooked with ground beef for a day or two helps with the diarrhea but we've yet to find a cure for the noxious gas.

Spanglish said...

One of my dogs was a stray for a while and she is still fond of killing and eating squirrels... we can always tell when she's had one of those meals. She can clear a room.

Suzanne said...

Been there with the black model of your dog. Only he decided to forage the garbage. Often. He had a thing for baby oil, too.

Alicia (aka Dr. Mom) said...

LOL! Hilarious! I always love good 'gas' humor. Makes me laugh like I'm 4 years old again!(As long as I'm not the one supplying it) :)

p.s. - thanks for the visit to my 'planet.' im definately putting 'visit nova scotia' on my bucket list :)