Me: You have to wear green.
Rosey: But why?
Cass: Does this mean I can wear my camouflage pants?
Me:(To Rosey) Because it's St. Patrick's Day! (To Cass) Nice try.
(two puzzled looks)
Me: St Patrick was a person a long time ago that drove the rats out of Ireland.(Crap.) No, wait...he drove the snakes out of Ireland! And so we're supposed to wear green today.
Cass: Is Ireland near here?
Rosey: (horrified) He put snakes in his car?
Me: Yes. No. It's an expression.
Cass: So people were happy to not have snakes? It was a big deal?
Me: (while wishing I'd never opened my mouth in the first place) It was a long time ago. I'm pretty sure Ireland has snakes now.
Rosey: So his car broke down.
Cass: It must've.
Happy St. Patrick's Day, y'all. Even y'all who have no idea why you're wearing green.