Monday, 5 May 2008

i swear I'm nicer in person

......three days later, I give up and call the Enterprise main customer line......

Phone bring, bring!

Customer Assistant:
(chirping) Blah Blah Blah Welcome to the Wonderful World of Enterprise Rent-A-Car! How can I help you?

Me: (to Bear) God DAMN it. It's another machine.

Customer Assistant: Hah Ha Ha! No, this is Blah Blah Blah from Enterprise Rent a Car! How can I help you today, ma'am?

Me: (sighing) I live in Nova Scotia, Canada. In July, I want to fly to Rochester, New York. Once there, I will be renting a car to drive around New York State and I will be spending a few days in Niagara Falls. Now, the website says that individual offices may allow cars to go over the border. I need to know if I can take the car over the border to Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls, Canada.

Customer Assistant: Do you have any idea what size car you'll be needing, ma'am?

Me: (warily) Why? Does that matter?*

Customer Assistant: No, not to answer your question, ma'am. I can just check and see if any cars are available on the days in question for you.

Me: No. Thanks. I'll do that later.

Customer Assistant: (reading aloud) Now it says here that you are allowed to drive cars into neighboring states, ma'am. So I would say that wouldn't be a problem. Ma'am?

Me: DON'T MA'AM ME. Please. And um...I live in Canada, and Canada? Isn't a state.

Customer Assistant: Ma'a...excuse me?

Me: Canada isn't a state. So the statement that cars are allowed into neighboring states might not apply.

Customer Assistant: .........Hmm.

Me: Can you please dial the Rochester Airport kiosk directly for me?

Customer Assistant: (glad to be rid of the rude Canadian) SURE!

Phone (bring, bring)

Customer Assistant #2's voice: This is the Rochester Airport's Enterprise Rent-A-Car location. We are open from 7:30 to midnight. If you'd like to leave a message,

Me: (to Bear) God DAMN it.

*Actually, the 'size matters over the border' thing cropped up when I was moving here. You can't take the comfy, easy to drive Uhauls that look like little vans over the border. Nuh-uh. You must have the huge, who's-your-daddy-now? mongo 18 foot trucks.


Stomper Girl said...

Surely you must be able to rent a car to drive over to Niagara Falls. People must want to do that all the time.

Jessi said...

That sounds so frustrating. It's bad enough getting a's even worse to get a real live person who just doesn't listen, pay attention, or know what the heck he/she is talking about.

Anonymous said...

I hate dealing with rental car companies. HATE it.

Erin said...

Heh. I am SO tempted to start calling you "ma'am" since you seem to love it so. But since we'll be rooming together, I'll refrain. :)

Do you want me to try to call them? Would it be easier for me since I'm in the states? Dunno. Let me know. I'm happy to help as needed. I wish I'd known you needed to get in touch with the airport, my parents were there yesterday.

tut-tut said...

Bring your passport and probably a birth cert.

Angewl said...

I've never, ever rented a car before.

Then again, I don't travel, so that could be why! lol

Hope you find a car, ma'am.

kittenpie said...

When we rented one of those ginormous uHauls to move back to Toronto, it was so big, we backed into another car and never even felt it. Crazy. (And yeah, so-called customer service lines are always absurdly frustrating!)

Sullivan said...

You are a hillarious writer. Lok forward to reading more...