Sunday, 4 May 2008

and round and round it goes

lately it's been all:

Okay...I can't book the hotel until I know if I have one or two room-mates and I shouldn't book the car until I talk to my father (because I've invited myself there for a few days) and I can't book the flight until I know what date I'm flying out on.

Also, can I take chocolate on the plane?

This is all mixed up with 'this is a lot of money for a weekend' and shutup! You need time away! And this will be fun! And what if I get lost? what if I get mugged? what if I lose my camera?

and then the really fun ones kick in:
Oh my God, you're going to be the biggest one there. Can you handle it?
and my irrational side says nooooooooooooo
and my rational brain says: Yeah! This is going to be fun! Interesting people! Grown-up people! Julia! Intelligent people who make me think and laugh and cry and...

But what if you don't like anyone?
And what if they don't like you?

Well, that'll be a shock. I'm sure I'm going to like these people. If not, then I'll just have to enjoy the Falls.
And if they don't like me, then I guess they're missing out.

And then my irrational and rational selves decided a dish of strawberry ice cream would soothe everything out and unite everyone. And a chopped-up banana in there.

Tomorrow I'll call my father, buy the flight and rent the car. I have until June something to get the rate for the hotel, so that's not emergent. And then that will be done. And I shan't fret about it anymore.


ZOLOFT MOM said...

girl, they'll love you! what's not to love?

and seriously, who gives a rat's a** if they love you or not? you are going to be AWAY from the CHILDREN in a HOTEL.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

You will have a great time! Stop worrying! The surprise will be when you find out that wise elderly blogger is actually a precocious teenager or that charming male blogger who loves to salsa is actually an octogenarian in a wheelchair. I'm just kidding. I am sure that all the bloggers will be who they say they are. look out for me! I am the giant 6 foot squirrel wearing a grey suit!

Vacant Uterus said...

I wish I was going. :-( I would LOVE to be your roommate. LOVE.

Anonymous said...

Strawberries are fruit, so that made the ice cream healthy. Bananas just made everything even healthier.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Stop worrying!

motherbumper said...

don't fret - you are going to have a blast and everyone is gonna luv ya' (just like me). Wish I was going to be there but I will be there in virtual spirit giving you the low down on SF and the BH gang.

apathy lounge said...

I'm so jealous! Every year I think I'll go and then every year I back out. I'm not sure why.

Loth said...

Weird, isn't it, how it turns out we ALL have the same internal monologue in these situations? Makes you wonder if there is anyone at all at such gatherings who is confident and untroubled about social situations!

And thank you for your lovely encouraging words on my blog after my run - I most certainly know who you are (just not in an IRL sense!) and it means a lot to me to have so many people rooting for me. Thank you.

womaninawindow said...

Oh, I won't be going but I like you already! You'll have lots of fun and meet people who aren't as socially malfunctioning as me...which is one good reason for me to stay home. I went on a cross Canada trip long ago in the day. I flew out to BC and met a group of people and we spent weeks jiggling in an old school bus over the mountains, across the plains...some of the best memories of my life with these "strangers".

Caro said...

Are we sisters separated at birth?

Angeline said...

*laugh* I can so relate to this, my emotional side and my rational side are often fighting too...I prefer to call them the angel and the devil, you can decide for me which is the devil...*wink*

anyway, something tells me (between the angel and the devil) that you'll enjoy'll see!

Major Bedhead said...

Ha! I've been doing the exact same thing.

And of COURSE you'll like me. And I shall like you. And it will all be good, even if we both get a case of the heebie jeebies and have to run away and fortify ourselves with vast quantities of alcohol and chocolate.

kittenpie said...

The biggest one? What? I'm not petite to begin with and will on top of that be & months pregnant and on top of that, have I mentioned I'm swelling like a Macy's Thanksgiving balloon already? Don't sweat that at all. You are seriously going to love these ladies - being in Toronto, I have the pleasure of knowing a good fistful of them already, and they are terrific.