lately it's been all:
Okay...I can't book the hotel until I know if I have one or two room-mates and I shouldn't book the car until I talk to my father (because I've invited myself there for a few days) and I can't book the flight until I know what date I'm flying out on.
Also, can I take chocolate on the plane?
This is all mixed up with 'this is a lot of money for a weekend' and shutup! You need time away! And this will be fun! And what if I get lost? what if I get mugged? what if I lose my camera?
and then the really fun ones kick in:
Oh my God, you're going to be the biggest one there. Can you handle it?
and my irrational side says nooooooooooooo
and my rational brain says: Yeah! This is going to be fun! Interesting people! Grown-up people! Julia! Intelligent people who make me think and laugh and cry and...
But what if you don't like anyone?
And what if they don't like you?
Well, that'll be a shock. I'm sure I'm going to like these people. If not, then I'll just have to enjoy the Falls.
And if they don't like me, then I guess they're missing out.
And then my irrational and rational selves decided a dish of strawberry ice cream would soothe everything out and unite everyone. And a chopped-up banana in there.
Tomorrow I'll call my father, buy the flight and rent the car. I have until June something to get the rate for the hotel, so that's not emergent. And then that will be done. And I shan't fret about it anymore.