Tuesday, 9 May 2006

much less freaking out today

Bear said: If she never learned to talk, would we love her any less?

And snapped me back into perspective. Of course not.

Today we're positive. Today we can beat this. We will. Steve Austin, look out.

We have the tools. We will have the help.

And this isn't a death sentence, like it hit me before.




Thank you all for your well-wishes and commiserations - you have no idea what they meant to me. It helps knowing I have y'all at my back.


Anonymous said...

Jess ~ You will all be fine. I remember (way back when) reading your birth story on BC and bawling and thanking God that you both were ALIVE. It'll all be okay and deep down, I truly believe R is fine. It might slow her down a smidge, but nothing insurmountable. Remember that we are here and love you guys!! {{HUGS}}

julia said...

Jess, she really seems ok. She's doing all the stuff she's supposed to do, she's just not talking, right? I mean, she's walking and climbing and sneaking chocolate and all that, yeah? So maybe this is a remnant of what happened to her at birth. Maybe it's not, maybe it's just her. Either way, you'll be ok. She'll learn to talk, or not, and either way, she'll get thru this, because she has you and your husband and Cassidy there, cheering her on and advocating and doing all the things that you do for a kid, no matter what's wrong with them, from cowlicks to autism to speech problems to whatever.

So. Here's hoping it is just a speech delay or slight learning disability, but if it isn't, then she's got a great support system and that will put her leaps and bounds ahead of the game.

julia said...

One other thing: If you feel like having a meltdown, then have one. Don't feel like you have to be this strong person all the time. It can be unbelievably helpful to curse and scream and cry and just generally wallow for a while. Really. You'll feel better. In the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett, "it cleans me out and then I can go on."

Shinny said...

She will talk when she is ready and actually needs to communicate her wants and needs to you.

My son started to talk at 6 months and my cousin's son didn't talk until he was almost 3. Every child is different and needs to grow at their own speed. If she isn't talking or trying to talk at all by the time she is getting ready for school, then you might need to worry but for now just work on trying to get her to ask for things when she just points or grunts. I am not a doctor, I just play one on the internet. ;)

Tessa said...

Keep strong! :)

bean and sprout's rep. said...

good for bear! those are wise words. she's a smart, beautiful girl who's going to go on and do just fine.

Angela said...

{{{JESS, R, C,& Bear}}}

I agree with the previous comments.

I read everything she has been doing and not doing. (which is only the talking) She is very smart.

I hope they are just being overly cautious. Maybe it was the only way to keep her with them?!

My husbands aunt did not talk until she started school. Really. The girl was 5!! She just did not feel the need to talk. Now, you cant get her to stop.

Know that no matter what we are all here.

My float said...

Go Bear. Exactly the right way to look at it. Your love for your little girl will grow through everything, whether it's slow speech or a grazed knee or whatever. And she will love you right back, and the world will be good.

Susan said...

You know that I am the LAST one to give advice, but I think Julia is right--take care of yourself through this. It is more important than it might seem. Do what you have to do, but take care of yourself.

Because that is the first step in caring for everyone else.

(Also? Henry talked late and now he won't shut up. See the irony? I wish such irony for you.)

Sweet Coalminer said...

I'm glad you're feeling positive today. I don't think there's anything more piercing than the fear that something is wrong with your child.

I have no advice and no suggestions, just hugs and support for you.

What is BC? Point me to your birth story?

Sweet Coalminer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
daysgoby said...

Thank you all so much.

We are calmer today - I think next Monday (her next appointment) will be when we all exhale.

We've spent today alternating between disbelief and hoping feverently that this is a worst case scenario.

Whatever it is, she'll be fine, because we will work as hard as we need to.

Sweet - BC is Baby Center - when I was pregnant I joined a pregnancy board and thank God, I still talk to these women. You'll never find my birth story on there, but here's the condensed version -

Thank you again, everyone.

Anonymous said...

One of my younger brothers was deprived of oxygen at birth and lived in the incubator for such the long time. His cognitive development was slower than his twin, and he was labeled brain damaged.

He was in special education and speech therapy until high school.

He graduated high school a year later than his twin. He went to college, maintained a decent gpa, and is now working. He goes about things differently than anyone I know, but he isn't at a disadvantage at all.

You are right. You all will be fine. And so will she.

Incidentally, my brother is one of the kindest, sweetest, most sensitive people I have ever known (not that I'm biased).

Krystal said...

Jess, I just want to share my friend's story with you. She has a 3.5 year old little girl and they were starting to get concerned because she's not exceptionally social and she's not even TRYING to talk. She does have some developmental delays, but they were trying to diagnose her with autism.

She's been seeing a speech pathologist and she's doing TONS better. Sometimes kids just need a little extra help in some areas.

Other than the speech delay, your little girl seems to be doing most of the things she should be at her age. She may be a little behind in some areas, but I assure you, she's way ahead of kids in other ways!

Kim said...

There is so much I could say here about this.

If you need a shoulder,
If you want some ideas/advice,
If you want to pick the brains of someone with a child with a profound speech delay -
I am here for you.

Email me: allconsuming@optusnet.com.au

What I will offer at this point in time is do not look on any of it in absolutes - (this is what every therapist will make you do so automatically you won't even realise) - but as a work in progress.