Dear Body -
Dude, if we could divorce, we'd be splitsville.
You and I have stayed together for the children, haven't we? Mommy can't break and fall down. But there's been a long and sullen silence between us.
Now, for enemies, we are awfully alike. As we would be.
We both love food - the worse for us the better. And I learned the siren song of chocolate from you, you know.
We both enjoy the sun. Well, you do. I squint a lot.
We both want to play with the kids. Hence the 'fitness' regimen.
And we both think sleep is heaven here on earth.
But that's not enough, eh?
Now, when the doctor said 'Jess, you must exercise', I must admit your feelings about the matter never crossed my mind. I just assumed you'd fall in like you always have. But no.
You crippled me.
I walked healthily.You sprung my knees. (Both knees. You are not subtle in your displeasure.)
I joined a gym. You taught me a new word (sciatica!) and made it impossible to work out.
I tried a softer, more modified walking program. You snapped back with exercise-induced asthma. (And that was a low blow, body. We were so friends before that.)
I thought about yoga. You gave me meaningful twinges in all my joints and declared I was too inflexible for this crap, and what was the next big idea?
Maybe it's my fault. Maybe asking you to carry and support two babies was too much. Admittedly, it was a bit much for you each time (you do seem to have a very rigid time limit for how long things will be hunky-dory in there) but I was proud of you.
So what was the final straw? Was it when I used the cheap body wash? The racking bouts of bronchitis that happen each winter? Is this retaliation for the smoking? I quit nine years ago, forgive and forget, hey? Hey?
I would be happy to continue this argument we've been having, body, but for one small person that we've both created. Well, really both small persons. But girls worry more about body-image, or maybe they don't, but I was a girl once upon a time, and I remember....(irritated noise) anyway. It's very hard for me to hate you and still project a good body image to Rosey.
So how are we going to do this? Can we just get along?
Maybe....if I bought the expensive bath wash?
13 comments:
I think my favorite part of this fantastic letter is: "You and I have stayed together for the children, haven't we? Mommy can't break and fall down. But there's been a long and sullen silence between us."
Now I really need to write mine.
Perhaps a bribe of body wash will work. Wouldn't hurt to try.
Good job babe. I think the expensive lotion is a must, though, too.
Uh, yours is far kinder than I would be to mine.
The good body wash didn't make a bit of difference in mine rebelling!
I am loving these letters!
I'm afraid to write a letter to my body...for it would reveal my absolute hatred for it.
But will your body take heed? Nay.
LOL
I love it..I wonder what mine would be??
Right now..I'm gonna give my body a
break and just love it.
She's had a hard few months!! and she's
moving me onward!!
smiles, Deena
LOL at the body wash. I really must do a letter too.
I really liked this.
maybe if you jump ahead and picture your body in 40 years time, you could love this present one a bit more? Exercise aversion and all.
your body is such an asshole.
But seriously? You are totally gorgeous and you have a smile that lights up the room.
This is a good chance to sound off to the bod!
Love your mom's sense of humour! This is really funny....We are all conflicted about our bodies..... Must be the culture we live in. But a sense of humour helps. And nice body wash.....
That was quite funny! Initially my letter to my body would be hateful, then I think I would be thankful... I will work on mine.
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