Thursday, 26 April 2007

in which I say vagina too many times

the car ride in:

Cass: Mommy, where is the special opening that dogs have their puppies out of?
Me: (swerving to get back on the road and hoping I heard him wrong) Umm...what?
Cass: You know, where dogs have puppies.
Me: Between their legs.
(pause)
Cass: (clearly horrified) You mean they have puppies through their penis?

Me: (another pause while I fight to not explode in giggles) No, honey. Only girls have babies, and girls don't have penises. Girls have vaginas.

Rosey: (flatly) I no have penis.

Me: No, Rosey, you don't. You have a vagina.
Rosey: Guy-na?
Me: Sure.
(Rosey sing-songs 'guy-na, guy-na' in the backseat)
Cass: So Rosey's going to have puppies? Cool!
Me: Only dogs have puppies. Only girl dogs.
Rosey: Tass! Tass! I no have penis! Has Guyna.
Cass: (rolling eyes) Yes, Rosey, we know.
(pause)
Cass: Mommy? Is that a secret?

At this point I gave up, pulled over to the side of the road and laughed myself into a wheezing fit.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG - funnnnnyyyyyyy

I'll be laughing all day over that one

Crystell

Angela said...

bwahahahahahahahahaha

S calls all that area her butt. sigh....


hey, you need to come back around darn it.

Spanglish said...

What a different and wild world it would be if the men gave birth through the penis...

My float said...

AAH, hilarious. Although I wish men gave birth to puppies through their penis. That'd make me laugh even harder!

Wisconsin Crunchy Mama said...

Both the post and the comments have me lauging coffee thru my nose.

cce said...

I've been tap dancing around this topic for years now. We're still promoting the belly button birth but they're getting too damn old for this convenient myth to work much longer. With the exit of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny comes the knowledge of vaginal birth.

kimmyk said...

Just once I'd like to see a male give birth through his penis.

I'd sit there with popcorn. That would be fun.

Stomper Girl said...

That was hilarious!! "Is it a secret?" Damn straight it is.

And oh YEAH it happens already!! I had to explain to the then 5YO about the seed in his balls ("What are my balls for?") and then a few months later explain how the seed got from the balls into the woman and her egg. And how that should only happen when you're a GROWN-UP!

At least I wasn't driving a car when we had that conversation!

evalinn said...

Glad I didn´t have to try not to giggle- ha ha!

Spanglish - that´s a very interesting thought. Maybe then some men wouldn´t stick it places they shouldn´t anyway...

Sarah Louise said...

giggling over here...

Caro said...

Your daughter sounds so cute!

My daughter calls it a tutu.

It keeps her from requesting ballet lessons.

meggie said...

Oh the laughs just keep rolling along!
Kids can be such rich fun!

stay-at-home mommy said...

Ha! Too funny. I've been relying on the tummy explanation (I had c-sections) but I can tell I'm starting to lose ground...

Josi said...

Ahahaha, that is so great!!!
Kells just says he wants to grab his penis. I can't wait until Kells has a sibling and I can listen to him explain things.