1. Dying house plants.
2. People who careen down the expressway in those new-fangled cars that come without turn signals.
3. Lunching with people who feel it is their duty to give a tip even when
4. Rough feet, my own or someone else's. Pumice yer hooves, would you?
5. Most flavoured teas. Tea is tea. Tea is not supposed to make your tastebuds think you're swallowing strangely liquefied apples and cinnamon, or worse yet - almonds. Blackberry tea is dreck.*
6. People assuming that since I'm from America I probably know their cousin Leroy in outer WallaWalla.
7. The last two inches of coke-colored water in the bottom of a big frosty glass.
8. Half-finished cups of milk left on the edge of the sink. (Although Jasper, our beginning-to-be-portly and constantly milk-mustached Lab? Thinks it's awesome.)
9. The smell of the bathroom garbage. (R drops her nighttime pull-ups in there)
10. Recycling. Yah, yah, important, and good for the earth, but jesus wept boring. And you can report me if you like, but I don't wash out my soup cans before I tuck them in their proper bag. I'll be damned if I'm going to wash my garbage.
11. The way the dishes never seem to be done. Even when I run a load and put them away, there are always more.
12. People who drive too slowly for safety, even in bad weather conditions.
13. No-fat salad dressings.
14. Women who say airily "Oh, I never eat chocolate." These are not humans and should be avoided at all costs.
16. Automated telephone menus. I just keep hitting '0'.
17. The way U.S. politicians recoil in horror over the idea of socialized medicine. I'm not going to lie: I pay a large boatload of taxes. But any time my children are ill, I can take them to the doctor. And I don't have to worry about a co-pay. Anything's better than this.
18. How finding most of the shows I think are funny has become a huge search-and-find mission - is my sense of humour so out of step?
19. Canned soup.
20. School-board bickering.
21. Trying to find lost mittens. Every morning.
22. Makeup that smears. Or wears off. Or fades unevenly. Or sparkles.
23. Cookies that taste of baking-soda. Expensive bakery cookies. There's a special level of hell for those who don't get the cookies right.
24. The way I've had to explain to my six-year old what terrorists are. He's not stupid. He sees CNN. And the three days of nightmares afterwards.
25. Old women who bathe in strong perfume.
I could go on.....hey, if tomorrow is a good day, maybe I'll do blackbird's 25 things I never get tired of list!
*While we're on teas? Green tea is shit. If I wanted to drink rubbery-tasting hot grass I'm sure I could find it in the yard.
**Tattoos are fine. But there seems to be a growing feeling that six or seven is a good number, all over your body.