Saturday 14 June 2008

sugar bombs

I fall for the supermarket arrangement scam every time.

Each time, I turn into the vegetable/fruit section, spend some quality time sniffing lemons, picking out the best mushrooms, the crispest apples, the plumpest ears of corn, all with the jet-speed help of my little farm hands, who think we're running a race and move accordingly. By the time we're done there and I've done the detours into the bread/deli area and the butcher section, the kids are beginning to show signs of strain and tiredness and an obscene fondness with the blood pressure machine in the drugstore. By the time I drag them off that, the whinging and carrying on isn't too far off. We stump through paper products, pet food, canned goods, household products, (while maintaining that the toy aisle simply isn't there) and arrive at the cereal aisle. By now, I've shot the Mom-glare six times, hissed 'Stay with the cart!' twelve gagillion times, and am unenthused and heartily sick of the whole operation. I mean, eating is over-rated, really.

Which is why we tend to end up with the bad cereal.


Oh, I used to fight the good fight about this. Back before I was outnumbered (and back before the boy realized marshmallows existed) we had Cheerios. Rice Crispies. Granola. The basics. He didn't care.

Now we have a girl. Who is programmed (are they all like this?) to be hyper-sensitive to pinks and purples, so any bright colored box catches her eye and screams her name.

So while I'm busy veto-ing Lucky Charms (otherwise known as the repository for ALL the food coloring numbers*) Cass is eying up the boxes for whatever prizes are hiding inside the waxy paper insides. Score! Indiana Jones!

'Mo-om? Can we.....' I swung around and eyed the box. Wheat. Good. We'd had this before. Oh look, a new flavor! Okay.

Then, this morning....

'Mo-om? This doesn't taste good.'

I lifted my head from my coffee cup. Why can't the kids sleep in? Not even once??
Huh? What? Who said that? Oh, the Boy.

'It's too...sweet.'

Blink-blink. You - think it's too sweet? Let me have a taste.
He obligingly brought me his bowl. I dipped, spooned, chewed.
And winced as my tongue went into spasms of sugar shock.

Toast, anyone?

From now on, I'm going to the cereal aisle first. Best to get that battle over with.

Public Safety Notice: Do not EVER EVER EVER buy Vanilla Flavour Mini-Wheats. Despite the (weakly) healthy sounding name, actually putting a biscuit in your mouth will cause the greasy, curling sensation of licking out an icing container.

You're welcome.


*Red Dye #7, Blue Dye #3, etc. A clunky reference.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yuck. Breakfast candy is disgusting, full of additives, and marketed evilly.

Anonymous said...

The cereal isle is an example of the sugar lobby's finest hour. I hate going there, and much of the time, will only eat some toast and orange juice for breakfast.

Unknown said...

This is a Mini Wheats house. We all love it. I'm a purist on that front, so we only get regular.

I'm saved from 90% of the junk cereals on the market by virtue of those dyes. Gameboy can't have it, so it doesn't go in the cart.

Except for when he's at scout camp...

Anonymous said...

So, uh, ahem, are you saying that eating icing out of the container is a bad thing, then?

Thanks for the heads up on the vanilla mini wheats. Any reviews on the other "new" flavours? (We've only had the regular ones)

Stomper Girl said...

This is why I prefer to shop without the kids.

Run ANC said...

Thanks for the warning. Who would know? By the way...Cinnamon Life Cereal is disgusting too - only buy the regular.

Anonymous said...

[shudder]

Luckily, my girls don't even eat cereal for breakfast. They always have fruit and yogurt and sometimes oatmeal or toast. I don't know why they don't like cereal anymore.

Woman in a Window said...

um, the sweeter the better. like the maple stuff myself but my husband and I hide it under the counter for the after 8 pm snacks when the littl'uns are sleeping.

My float said...

ok, i admit to licking the icing bowl from time to time but i'd gag to eat such sweet cereal!!

Major Bedhead said...

I've never had the vanilla but the strawberry? Da bee's knees.

I have somehow convinced my two that the twigs and sticks cereal that I eat is delicious. It is, too, especially when combined with yoghurt.

Magpie said...

I only buy cheerios and rice krispies. but then, the kid doesn't know how to read, and i say "no" a lot.

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