Job interviews: Most are dry, dull and predictable. I don't tend to interview well - it's always a challenge - and I know that's held me back a few times.
Today, though, nothing I could have said or done would have changed the fact that I slipped into a time warp of weird.
I was interviewing for an office position - some accounting, some parts work, filing, writing checks, and keeping track of the boss's schedule. Nothing I hadn't done before. The secretary, the owner and his wife interviewed me, in a tiny, grotty office that smelled overwhelmingly of something floral - ly I couldn't identify right away. It was a casual atmosphere (mostly because of the dirt and mess the shop made) and the owner and secretary were both in jeans. The wife had a long denim jumper on. The owner is (justifiably!) proud of the business he's created, so he told me all about how the business started and how it's expanding. The secretary started her portion with a rundown of a typical day - what she does when, how many different things she has going at once. They both seemed like nice matter-of-fact people. I started to relax. Finally, it was the wife's turn. A short silence. She flicked her long hair back, leaned forward and took my hand in hers, and said "And do you feel your heart led you to this job?"
Me: (thinking: what on earth? no, it was the want ad. PATCHOULI! THAT'S THE SMELL! IT REEKS OF PATCHOULI IN HERE!) Um.
Wife: Because you know, you need to have your heart invested in this job to take it.
Me: Well, I've always found...
Wife: And you have two little ones. What have you done this year to better yourself?
Me: (thinking: that didn't make any sense?) I took a course in the latest version of Excel and Alchemy last fall....
Wife: No no no. What have you done this year to better yourself? What are your hopes and dreams? Your fondest wishes?
Me: (thinking: what the fucking fuck?) (Warily) To own a bookstore?
Wife: So you really have no interest in this industry.
Me: (thinking: Well, this is in the can. You're nuts, and the other two are hypnotised by your patchouli candle. LET GO OF MY HAND.) No.
9 comments:
OMG, you poor thing.
But OMG how funny!
Also? If they ever want to fill this position, the owner and the secretary need to lock the wife up in a supply closet.
That is too weird! There are some real nutty people out there for sure! Here's hoping that the next interview will be with the "normal" people!
Haaaaaaaaahaha.
Accountant for a psychic? A pot dealer?
That is totally ridiculous! Were you supposed to say, "My fondest wish is to be a secretary in your nasty-ass back room"? WTF?!
That is a really funny story!
You should have looked her in the eye and said "Yes, it's always been my dream to work for a parts dealer. I fantasize about carburators and fan belts. I dream of radiators and overhead cams. I long to rebuild an engine and I can rotate tires in my sleep."
Freak. A. Zoid. Jeesh.
Ack!
that's so scary - but oh my god was that hiliarious.
Bwahahahahahahahaahahah
i had an interview today too!
but mine went nothing like yours!!!!
insane!
OK. Run. Run the other way! I have worked for a small family-owned business. They can be strange places if one of the family is a nut job. And, this woman sounds like a total nut job! You are better off without the job, believe me!
WOW!
Yeah...
Wow.
Post a Comment