How's this for spam:
From: someone I've never heard of
Subject: Revealing you are dizzy or are not alert and clearheaded
It is, OF COURSE, an ad for Viagra. Aren't they all? Viagra 911. Really?
When I was working at the clinic, I had an older man call, saying he needed to see the doctor immediately. He was whispering so softly that I had to take the call in another room, and even then I could barely hear him.
Me: Sir! You'll have to speak up.
Man: Mutter wife mumble wimble what do I do?
Me: Excuse me? Mr Smith, I can barely hear you.
Man: (getting exasperated) I SAID, my wife's in the bathroom.
Man: We just decided to have sex again after six months. She's in the bathroom and the bottle is empty. I need a refill. Now. Can someone drive it over here?
Me: Let me switch you to your nurse.
Man: (sighing) Damned girlfriend.
I'm sure he would be thrilled to hear about Viagra911.