Sunday, 3 May 2009

keeping mum

I am lucky enough to have met some smart and wonderful people on my ramblings through the internet. EarnestGirl made me sit up and think when she published this today. I went through a similar crisis of conscience a year or so ago about pictures of the kids

(verdict: I don't feel my children's safety (living where I do, with the social skills they have) is compromised by my taking pictures of them when they are young like this. My son is seven and a half - when his face stops changing so much or he's bothered by having his picture up, I will stop. Likewise Miss R.)

and now EarnestGirl has brought up new questions. I disagree with her on some points (I believe she's speaking about an age group different than my children) but I like her reasoning and the way she explains herself....

Go. Read. I'd be interested in what you think.

9 comments:

Loth said...

Hmmm, I think I am probably at the liberal end of this debate. My kids are a wee bit older - I didn't started blogging until well after their toddlerhoods - and I tend to ask permission to blog about their sayings/foibles. But I think I would feel too hamstrung if I were to avoid blogging about any part of the family doings.

Woman in a Window said...

Hummmmm, ya, I'm thinking as my kids grow I'll back off of posting about them. In fact, I already have, to a certain extent. But then on the other hand, I did just post about sex education and kids. But trust me, I kept all of their personal stuff out of it. It was my bits floating around.

Erin said...

I agree somewhat, I think. I haven't really thought about it, but the limited thinks I have thunk are that I will slowly stop writing about the girls when they are old enough to be embarrassed by my bragging on/talking about them on the web. And eventually I'll have to introduce them to my website and explain what it is. And won't that be a fun time!

lscrude said...

I bragged shamelessly about my younger daughter's recent swim meet, including some video of her efforts. A few of my friends read my blog and when they each next saw Ella they commented to her about how well she had done, etc. By the fourth or fifth comment she was getting a little uncomfortable with the notion that people had seen her swimming and she told me she wished I hadn't written about it. She's eight. I thought she would be proud but instead she was embarrassed. So I don't know quite how to judge what is going to be OK with my kids and what isn't. There will probably come a time when I wont be able to say too much because their friends will start reading. I might need to re-think some of the archives, too.

Stomper Girl said...

It all comes down to why you blog for me. My blog is my family chronicle and therefore it will be about our family as we grow up together. I can understand if you blog about yourself or about politics or your craft skills etc that you would give your kids some privacy and distance.

I don't tell the internet everything. WE had a particular health issue (very minor) with our youngest boy that I didn't want to air because of future embarrassment potential. And I keep my blog "nice" for the most part, it's the happy times that are on record. I wouldn't want my kids to read it back later and feel awful because I'd blogged when I was having a bad day and whinged about them.

Earnest Mom mentions not wanting to shape her kids through them reading the blogged version of themselves. I think that all families have stories and mythologies about the growing up days. (My Dad's fave is to reminisce about what a bitch sister I was to the younger two, but I'm sure he's forgotten the many times I was an ace and loving sister)

Badger said...

I blog much less about my kids as they've gotten older, because not only can THEY find and read my blog, but so can their schoolmates. Ever since a family member found my blog a while back (one I wouldn't mind reading it, luckily) I have written everything with the assumption that eventually I will no longer be anonymous AT ALL, and that ANYONE who knows us, including my kids' friends, school bullies, teachers, etc., can read what I'm writing there.

From another angle, I'm constantly drilling online safety into my kids, telling them not to use their real names or post photos online, etc. -- why would *I* put that information about them out there?! It makes no sense.

Of course, I am basing a lot of this on my kids' personalities, ages, where we live, their social relationships, etc. but yeah, I tend to agree with the article you linked to.

(I should also note that I am more paranoid about this stuff than most people -- I won't have bumper stickers on my car that have my kids' names, schools, sports teams, etc. on them so every yahoo driving behind me can see that little Johnny is number 15 on the basketball team at XYZ Middle School, either. What can I say? My dad is a retired internet security expert who grew up in a bad neighborhood. I was warped at an early age!)

witchypoo said...

Anyone who lands on my blog does so with their permission. Most of the stories I tell are oldies, and I do not post pictures of my family. Everybody gets a blog name.

BabelBabe said...

i try to keep in mind that people I know read my blog - I have "come out" more in the past year. However, I try to not censor myself if it's a topic I am really wrestling with, since this is what makes for good writing, for me. I do not post straight photos of my kids anymore, though, and they have blog names.

EarnestGirl said...

Thank you all - especially that pretty cat at the top of the blog - for this dialogue. Still delighted to be "linked to" and so interested in your answers here.

Particularly Badger's point: "From another angle, I'm constantly drilling online safety into my kids, telling them not to use their real names or post photos online, etc. -- why would *I* put that information about them out there?! It makes no sense."

VERY true.

For my next trick (as in one day when I remember or get bothered enough) I am going to blog about Facebook & kids. They have no fear. And very different boundaries for themselves.