Dear Facebook people:
First off, where in the hell are y'all from? I have a certain amount of blog friends on there, and a few high school and college people, and some local friends. Even some family. Some of you I do not know. You are either friends of friends, or (and this is the only thing I can figure out) you know my husband, troll his friend list, see me, and think AHA! She's local! I'm sure if Bear ran over me in the parking lot she would sympathise and then add me to your list.
People, this is just plain weird. I spend most of the time with new friend requests barking at Bear. 'Who's X So-and-So? She's on the local network - is she related to R So-and-So? How in the hell would I know her?'
And then I okay you, because I am polite, and you rattle around on my friend list until I grow a backbone and zap you off, because frankly? You're not doing me a darn bit of good there. Hearing that you visited Ted and Shirley yesterday and had a great time is fabulous - I'm so glad you're enjoying your winter and taking time to update the rest of us!- but since I don't know Ted, nor Shirley, it matters not to me. Ted Smith? Jones? Bundy??
Now cut this crap out. When you ask to be put on someone's friend list, there's a place where you can write down how you know someone. Do us all a favor and fill it out.
Dear Goodreads people-
I love Goodreads. I do. I read a lot, and it's fun to get book recommendations and ideas from other readers. Again, there's this 'friend me' thing going on. Last week, I was asked to friend someone living in Japan.
I've never been to Japan.
Is there some way you sort users by how many books they have in their libraries? Because I keep getting friend requests from people in the most unlikely places (Des Moines?? Minsk??) and with very few books or authors read in common. I don't post a lot of reviews (three or four a month?) or do anything particularly noteworthy - exactly where are people getting my name from to add me to their lists?
Again, I have nothing against making friends on Goodreads. Wanna friend me? Great! Just let me know where in hell I know (or should know) you from.