(and really, because what else could I say that sums this up so well??)
Oh Mah Holy Hell, Y'all.
They're not all pumpkins.
Some of them are......are.......
ZUCCHINI.
(cue gnashing of teeth,some screaming and rumpling of hair)
(And yes, lovely in bread or muffins, enjoyable on the grill or baked...DOWN, Zucchini Lovers of the World, I didn't mean to insult YOU. You're lovely. I'm sure.)
but I remember.
When I was ten or so my parents had a big garden at a friends' house - loads of lovely vegetables - carrots, beans, peppers, Brussels sprouts, a bit of corn, some lovely little round watermelons.
But the one thing I will always remember about that garden was the zucchini.
It took over everything. It grew so fast you could hear it. We ran out of people to freely give it to and neighbors' porches that we could sneak a bushel onto.
That year I ate a LOT of zucchini. And by the end, I didn't enjoy any of it.
Well, you know how they say that part of parenting is passing on the lessons that your parents taught you?
This could be an object lesson. ALWAYS CONFIRM THE SPECIES OF YOUR PLANTS.
damnit.
17 comments:
Oh, too funny.
They grow so differently, too. I remember zucchini being a kind of mounded spiky plant, while pumpkins grow out and over everything?
You may be good if it's only one. Or send me some. I didn't plant any squash this year.
Oh man, that's a bummer. I'm not a big zucchini fan, but a while back smitten kitchen posted this recipe, which looks yummy.
You can chop it up or run it through a food processor and freeze it for the winter. It actually keeps nicely.
We had a great garden when we lived in Montana. Short growing season. And someone tipped the zucchinis off about that. Because.....we would go to bed at night, having seen some lovely little zucchinis in the garden before tucking the children in. When we went the next day to have another look we'd find M.O.N.S.T.E.R.S!
Here we have a fig tree. Different species, but now it's a problem of inundation. Hard to make us humans happy! I like figs. I think they are delicious. Especially warm off the tree. However, after another week of scrambling to pick, cook, give away [please, take as many as you like, can I get you a bucket??]I doubt I will still feel that way!!
Have you tried adding crushed pineapple to your zucchini bread? Yum!
Hey, zucchini is great! Especially zucchini patties pan-fried like hamburgers - YUM! And it's GOOD for you! All is not lost, my dear, no doubt you will have folks around who will be glad to get the extras you have, if you don't process and freeze them.
ANYONE who plants zucchini is always desperate to give it away in the fall. What's up with that?
Also, pumpkins can morph into zucchini, or so my mom tries to have me believe.
Zucchini chocolate cake is to die for. Really.
You can also make zucchini muffins (rather than carrot muffins).
And it freezes well.
How do I know then when I don't have a garden, you ask?
My MIL gave me 7 very large zucchinis last year.
Some of it is still frozen, sliced, in my deep freeze (slice and blanche it for 2-3 minutes - a steamer pot works nicely for this - throw it on a cookie sheet and put it in the freezer for 20 minutes, then bag and freeze). You can also shred it for later use.
Please don't think less of me for being a Zucchini Lover. One of the best dishes I have ever had was zucchini ribbon "pasta" with alfredo sauce. Google it. Puts scads of zucchini to good work.
Dave grew zucchini in our garden last year and there was this one zucchini that just like, BLEW UP. I mean the thing was HUGE. It was like, the size of a newborn babe. It was INSANE. And he brought it in all proud with his chest puffed out and thunked it down on the counter and I looked at it in horror because, like, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A TWENTY-POUND ZUCCHINI?
Maybe you could start a zucchini festival in your town? Contests for recipes? Prizes for who will take the most home? Donate to the food bank?
This is too weird and funny because this morning I went to check on my squash garden and in the spot that I thought was a pie pumpkin there was a little ZUCCHINI sticking out from under the branches. Like you, I started to sweat a little. I remember back when I started the seeds my kitty pulled out the seed markers and I couldn't find the zucchini plants. Then when It came time to plant, I thought, well these look like the other squash/pumpkin plants so I put them with the big guys.
You want to know the really really sad part? I thought I didn't have any zucchini so I BOUGHT a plant and put it in the other garden, you know, thinking ONE plant was enough since they breed like rabbits.
Well. this is one way to get to know the new neighbours....
Oh my gosh that it to funny. I did not know zucchini takes over everything in the garden. I guess you can tell how many I have planted in my life.
A family friend says that as long as there is zucchini, there shouldn't be world hunger. Because WOW.
And mamatulip killed me with her gigantic zucchini story. We had a similar occurrence last year while I was in the hospital after Lucy was born. We had zucchini the size of whiffle ball bats (you know, the really big fat bats?). Mike used them for target practice and then ran them over with the lawn mower.
I have a zucchini recipe that I like (and actually BOUGHT zucchini) for. Lemme know if you want it. It's easy and good. And it's NOT zucchini bread. Woo!
Oh man! Is there anything else on earth that grows as fast as an UNWANTED zucchini? I sincerely doubt it.
Ah yes, rabid zucchini - every gardeners nightmare (right next to dandelions).
When we moved into our house, the retired man who lives behind us had a huge garden. I made the mistake of telling him that zucchini were my favourite veggie. The next year he planted 3 zucchini plants just for me. I couldn't keep up. I harvested and harvested and one day found one the size and shape of a Louisville slugger. I gave them away. I made ratatouille by the pail-ful. I even would wait for darkness to fall so he wouldn't see me loading them into the compost bin. Thank God he only did it the one summer.
Have you read the poem Attack of the Squash People? It's very apt. Found here: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/attack-of-the-squash-people/
I bet George Romero or Wes Craven could direct a great horror movie based on killer zucchini plants.... Imagine if zucchini crossed with kudzu. Squash Of The Dead.
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