Friday, 15 June 2007

ye olde cyanide butt

Rosey's got a pooper problem.

It's a virus, of course, we pretty much figured that even before the doctor at outpatients said so, but what really clinched her visit was the stink.

Sick butt has to be the worst smell in the world.

It started last weekend - went from hmmm to I think R is poorly to Jesus what's that smell?! to B and I Rock-Paper-Scissor-ing for diaper duty.

Five days, different food each day, and the same eye-watering odor every time.

My horrified thought was a parasite. With B and I both working around sick people and R's regular exposure to other kids and her propensity to suck her thumb...well, there isn't enough hand sanitizer in the world to keep one or the other of us from bringing home a stray bug or two.

Side Advice: Don't ever, ever Google anything when you don't know exactly what you're looking for.

Searches for things like: diarrhea and smells the same for five days or toddler poop smells bad for five days pop up all sorts of things that are not helpful. One paper suggested neutering - Bear was very concerned until I clicked back to the beginning of the article to discover it was talking about Beagles, not small stinky kids.

So off she went this morning to outpatients*. Filled a few diapers in the waiting room, but stayed dry and happy while the new doctor examined her. I was laying out my concerns and getting the you-know-it's-a-virus-nods while he checked her ears and eyes and listened to her heart, (while R flirted and didn't act sickly at all) and was just about finished (Carefree! Look! She's not even ill! Tickle tickle, little girl!) when he palpated her bowel and Rosey...well, tooted.

You would have thought I goosed him. His eyes watering (and breathing shallowly through his mouth) the doctor rocketed back on his stool.

There! I said triumphantly. Now DO YOU SEE.

He recovered his professionalism quickly, listing things to feed her, things she could drink. Mentioning that if X and Y happened, to take her in for a re-check.

He paused after that, discreetly gulping the fresh air in the doorway.
'She could probably go to her regular doctor for that, though.'

*Our regular guy was out of the office today - they reccommended we go up and see the fellow on call.


Angewl said...

bwahahahahaha neutering?

Been there with the stinky poops that last for days. Did he say it was rotovirus?

I hope R is feeling better soon.

Beagle said...

You need to write a book!

I am laughing over here picturing the doctor's smug "there's nothing wrong here" look turing into the "eye watering dawning of truth" look!

Funny post!

Sorry for poor Rosey's butt and her parents' noses.

Beagle said...

PS I'm not the stinky, in need of neutering, kind of beagle in case you're wondering.

meggie said...

Roaring with laughter as the image of the smug Dr! Yay for Rosey!
But on a serious note, I hope she recovers soon. Grandson seems to be suffering much the same thing, Doc says nothing to be done, diet etc.

M&Co. said...

This made me laugh out loud! Poor Rosey. And especially poor YOU!

Spanglish said...

This stuff is the stuff that I never ever think about when I wish for my family. The loveliest thing about it is the way you tell these stories... I can't wait to experience toxic stinky toddler butt. Sort of.

Sarah Louise said...


I have never had to deal with this in terms of another person, but I have had issues with this on my own and it stinks (well, literally). I went through a whole stage where I didn't want to eat b/c well, I didn't want the consequences. Good luck with that!

And the doctor's response was CLASSIC!

kirsty said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is absolutely priceless!!! I'm SO glad she actually got him while you were there - it's such a pain when you drag your sick kid to a doctor and they act WELL the whole time you're there. Then barf in the car on the way home.