Tuesday, March 14, 2006

burglers beware

Bear was working a twenty-four yesterday, a shift he doesn't like because he doesn't get to see the kidlets at all. Usually I get a phone call from him to talk about our days, but the shore was hopping and it was very late. The house was quiet and I was just contemplating the choice of either a shower or a bath when the front door slammed.

The slamming door didn't faze me too much, as it had a Bear-like sound to it, but then....there was no noise. No cheery hello.

I called out 'You'd better be my husband!' and footsteps started coming up the stairs.

Now it struck me. I was alone in the house with two sleeping children. The protector-mama in me started to rouse. What could I defend myself with? I was sitting in the bathroom, so I grabbed the first few things I saw. Armed, I waited.

It was Bear, who responded to my wide eyes and deer-in-the-headlights-stare with 'I wasn't sure you were up. I just stopped in for a minute to see....umm, do you need a brush with that?

I looked at my hands. Yup, I was all prepared to fight off the intruder with....a can of shaving cream and a digital camera.

Go me. Sometimes I am so fierce I can't stand it.

9 comments:

bean and sprout's rep. said...

lol! too funny, jess! the shaving cream can could have done some damage if you needed it to.... isn't it funny how we learn eachothers manorisms so well that when our significant others don't go through their normal routines, we get antsy? i'm the same way though.

wordgirl said...

All you needed was a match or a lighter to turn that hairspray can into a flaming weapon. You SO knew what you were doing!

Joke said...

Was it MENTHOL shaving cream?

-J.

Sweet Coalminer said...

haaaaaaaaahahaha!!

Better than q tips and an eyelash curler!

kimmyk said...

HA! That made me laugh out loud.

Men don't know what we can do with the littlest things....coulda cut someone.

Angela said...

ROFLMBAO hahahahaha

I immediately pictured you there with a tampon in one hand and a plunger in the other.

Joke said...

Geez Angela...thanks for the visual of Gynecology In Hell.

[shuddering]

-J., he of the Y chromosome

Angela said...

hahahahahaha

sorry!

Josi said...

So freaking hilarious Jess!!! So, what did Bear think you were going to do with a brush? And how exactly would the perfect your random assortment of attackables?