Tuesday, 23 March 2010

mr mom

I went back to work this week.

I've been working part-time (very part-time) all along but this is the first I've worked full-time since before Miss Rosey was born.

And while it feels awesome! and very grown-up! and it's nice to talk to adults all day! and do things! That aren't necessarily kid-related! it feels STRANGE to leave the household in Bear's (admittedly capable) hands.

Now he's making supper, getting the kids off to school and making them do their homework at night, listening to stories about their days and doling out snacks. Yesterday he mixed up a batch of bread dough for me, had supper waiting in the pot when I got home, and had done a load of laundry and washed the dishes.

It was nice (heaven!) to come home to but it felt...odd, you know? To walk in and hear that the homework was done and here-have-your-supper and realize that another adult had very competently taken over my mom and homemaker duties. Odd...and displaced.

Yes, I know that I'm special to my kids, and that no one can take my place in their hearts. This post isn't about that. It's about feeling maybe that the world isn't going to stop if I'm not in the house, or if I'm not the one serving up snacks and stories, and how that makes me feel.

Smaller, a bit, and glad that they're with someone who loves them so much, and still....a bit displaced.


(Note: This is a three-month term position which may or may not be extended. Hats off (really, I mean that) to moms and dads and single parents everywhere who do this full-time, all the time.)

10 comments:

Dawn said...

*sigh* and well put.

Erin said...

It *is* very strange to come home to a house that didn't fall into shambles in your absence. I've found the same thing with my every-3-week trips to Michigan.

Good luck on the job!! :)

Magpie said...

I have been in this position for almost year, as a result of my husband's disability. He cooks, he cleans, he puts the kid on the bus. But he rarely does her homework with her! I wish he would. Good luck with your (short) job.

Molly said...

Hats off to Bear too! It's not every man who'd willingly do what he's doing.....And good luck at your full-time, grown-up job! Great chance for your kids to see how you can both do EVERYTHIng!

Anonymous said...

The house doesn't fall into shambles when I'm gone, but it's definitely not the same as when I'm there.

Stomper Girl said...

Wow, I'm so impressed with Bear. I would love to walk in and find dinner on the table and homework done. Hoo! Dream on.

The Pifer's said...

Good luck at the job, glad Mr. Mom went well :)

MsCellania said...

This is what SHOULD happen when primary parents re-enters the work force, but seldom does. I am proud of Bear's efforts.
Aw, I know going back to work must be fun, but there's the guilt, and the 'what am I missing?!'. Maybe think of it as Bear's turn to see all that you get to see every day? I tried to keep working after we had children, but I finally just couldn't - they were too young.
It's so great to go back to work,Jess; it's great for YOU as a person, good for your family to miss you and value what you do. But gosh it must be So Hard...

Mummy Dearest said...

When I am with the kids, I shut my work brain off... when I am at work, I have learned to shut my kid brain off... when I am with hubby, I shut kid and work brain off... This is tough, I know! But we survie, don't we? Like Dawn wrote, *sigh"...

Sarah Louise said...

My mom has been the main breadwinner since my dad retired 8 years ago and my dad got really good at shopping and cooking and EVEN folding. (He read an article about folding at Gap stores in the NYT.) My mother was like, what will be left for me to do when I retire? (Which she did in August.)

It's all transition. Sounds like you and Bear are a good team.

(Also, I love both the movie and the country song Mr. Mom.)

xo,
SL