Wednesday, 14 December 2005


You know the old saying about the flu?
First you think you're going to die, and then you're afraid you won't?

I think I'm going to survive. Barely. Cough-cough. Em-hack.

Bear (who must, after all, love me, as he's put up with me the whole time I've been sick)
made me call in today. I was a chokin' and a'gaggin' and snurflin' and snorkling all night long. I don't think he got much sleep, either.

So today we packed the kidlets off to the babysitter, and I get to sleep.
Sleep sleep sleep sleep. God, what incredible luxury!

This weekend, when all this doom and pestilence started, I fell asleep (read passed out, clutching the Nyquil like a lover) on the couch where Cassidy had been recouping. He had developed a bracky cough, and since we can't get him to take cough drops, we were busy keeping his throat wet. The boyo lived on popsicles, orange juice, ginger ale, and gum. It was a good trick, getting him to always be drinking/chewing something, but his throat healed pretty quickly.

Where was I? Oh, yes, face down in the couch cushions, hoping for sweet oblivion. When I finally stirred my heaving coughing racking self off the couch, I found what Cass forgot: to throw away his gum.

It was in my hair. It was everywhere. And while peanut butter may work for the smooth shiny and unchemical-treated hair of children, there was no way it was ever coming out of mine.
As for the second most popular remedy: have you ever had your head rubbed with an ice cube? Have you? Hmm? Not comfortable, made even less so by the chills and shivering.

So I did what any self-respecting half out of her mind woman on cold syrup would do...I hacked it out with scissors.
And when I realized how much I had cut, I had to even out the other side a little.

This morning, I'm running my hands through my hair and realizing just how short parts of it are, and how long other bits are. Ladies and gentlemen, I believe I have given myself....a mullet.

So emergency call to the hairdressers today. And frantic online shopping for Christmas hats.

And to sleep, to dream about the days when I had hair.


Lily's Mama said...

Have a good "day of sleep". Sometimes when Lily has not slept well during the night and I feel tired, I get the sitter over for a few hours during the day so I can go to bed and have a nice, relaxing sleep without a monitor to listen to! I think the thing I miss the most about having a baby is the fact that you just can't lay down and have a nap whenever you want. I used to love to lie down some afternoons and have a great siesta but now, it is all dependant on Lily's schedule. Oh well, the joy they bring makes it all worth it! :)

Cat, Galloping said...

what are you doing posting when you should be SLEEPING?! hope you and your hair feel better soon.

bean and sprout's rep. said...

ohmygosh. what a day! how fun to have a day to yourself though- if only you were feeling good enough to really enjoy it! sending you feel-better-quick vibes...

Sweet Coalminer said...

I did that in the 4th grade - long golden curly locks. I was chewing like 4 or 5 pieces of bubbalicious. Everyone said peanut butter or ice, but I just went into my grandma's kitchen, got the scissors, and lopped it off, and then ran out to play.

I actually left the hair in the silver ware drawer from which I got the scissors. My grandma was so grossed out.

Glad you're resting. I can't imagine having the flu with wee ones. Blech.

julia said...

Whatever about being sick (not really, I do hope you feel better soon) but I can't resist. I want pictures of the mullet. :D Hehehehehehe. You're going to have to change your screen name to Jessamullet.

Anonymous said...

Co-sign wanting to see the mullet pics (snort). Hope you feel better soon... {{HUGS}}


Suburban Turmoil said...

Wow! Now that is one bad day. Having just recovered from three straight weeks of two separate colds, I can empathize.

As for sleep- I want it so bad, I've asked for it for Christmas! Seriously. One morning in which I'm not woken for ANY REASON.

Angela said...

You know I love you, so you know that I was laughing WITH you, right?


I do hope you feel better. Please get some rest!!

yeah, pics would be nice. Just so I can share in your misery!


Susan said...

I hate to say that I am laughing at your misery, but--the gum? Funny. The self-inflicted mullet? Even funnier.

Hope you feel better soon!

Josi said...

Jess, I'm sorry you're sick but I'm going to place my order for mullet pics as well. You had me laughing so hard at work. How are you feeling by the way?

Y said...

I hope you enjoy your sleep, your body needs it so much when you're trying to get better.