Anyone ever get a weird vibe about what might have been? I was browsing through some of my Facebook feed and spotted some (not mine) reunion pictures - and I went to bed thinking "what if..."
What if I'd married the serious boyfriend?
What if I'd married the boy next door?
What if I'd married the boy who was in love with me?
What if I still lived where I grew up?
Who would I be?
Welllll, the serious boyfriend is still a friend on Facebook, but we kinda don't share the same core political values and we're both quite outspoken. (AKA: there would be noisy fights at the Thanksgiving table) He's chosen a life I can't see myself living, although I think he has peace with it.
The boy next door - le sigh. I still sneak peeks at his profile every once in awhile just to see how he's doing. And I miss who he was, although I'm not sure we'd like each other if we just met now.
The boy who was in love with me - ahhh. He was (and still is!) a sweetie. His lovely wife and brilliant children do him credit. He is, of them all, the one who turned out the most like I thought he would - a creative, science-y career, a lovely life.
I'm really, truly afraid that if I hadn't uprooted everything and moved here I'd still be moribund, still stuck doing all the same old things - and never feeling the need to change.
I guess I gave myself roots and wings, and I soared.
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