Monday, 20 February 2012

cat's in the cradle

We told each other that things would never change. That living so far apart didn't mean anything - how could it, to such old friends? - and we'd always talk on the phone and be able to pick up where we left off.

There were phone conversations and months-long-comfortable silences and christmas cards.
And then things

She had a new marriage, a guy that loved her with his whole heart and soul, a new business and a new outlook and was refinishing her house and she had been a whirlwind always, surely we would connect soon? and we..just..drifted..apart.

Sure, there's Facebook, but being a voyeur into an old friend's life is strange and unsettling. I've never been more aware of the public persona, of how I come off when I post. How odd it is to know someone better from the outside, and to have only memories of the inside.

We haven't emailed or even facebooked in quite awhile. Still keeping tabs on each other, still whirling in our own little orbits, but so very, very far away from the chattering girls we once were, comfortable in our own skins.

And now, to further hammer home how our lives have diverged, there is a baby. A baby! I'm thrilled for her and wish her the very, very best.

But it was odd to first learn of the baby's existence with the birth announcement on Facebook.

(please understand this is less hurt than puzzlement - how on earth did we ever move this far apart? Our lives are completely different now, and that's the way it is and will be - I'm just becoming aware of the last few tendrils of things I called home snapping lately.So how can I be homesick, when I don't really know where to call home anymore?) 


Mary G said...

You may reconnect some time - there's no way to set it up but it has happened to me.
And, yeah, lives push people apart. Some friendships need contact, others not so much.
Home is where, when you go there, they have to let you in. Or so I have read and loved the idea.

Molly said...

I'm not on Facebook----refused to cave to the pressure and would prefer to have three or four real friends than three or four hundred "friends" on Facebook... But, some people, even family, are too busy to connect any way but FB, and if you're not in the loop you're left on the edges, puzzled and yes, even a little bit hurt.....

Maybe she'll come round. Life has a way of knocking you about that only your real friends can help you through. Give her time.

Molly said...

Third time's a charm! That's how many attempts before I succeeded at this new, insane, word verification!