Tuesday, November 15, 2005

all good things

That's Panda on the right. The striped one is Katie, her daughter.

I moved here from Michigan with all my belongings stuffed (and it was tight packing) into an eight foot pull behind U-Haul. The cats rode up front with me (We are not amused. Not amused.) and we were fine until we hit Buffalo, New York. Then my brakes started getting harder and harder to operate. The cats were sympathetic (Holy shit, does this mean we get to stop??) but I pressed on - I made it (coasting in) to my fathers house in Canandaigua, there to find out my car's frame had cracked and the car was a big ugly paperweight. I finished the trip out with all my possessions taking up a teeny amount of room in an eighteen-foot U-haul. (Only certain sizes [all the biggies, natch] are allowed over the border) The cats helped me feel like this was my home.

My oldest cat, Panda, has been slowing down for a year or more. We think she's fifteen, which is a pretty respectable age for a reformed barn cat to have attained - but I don't want to let her go. Now, though, it may be just nearing her time.

She's started wandering around the house, crying like she's lost, and even when the other cats go to her she still doesn't seem comforted. She spends a lot of time dozing, and her eyes have a glassy sheen. She's lost a bit of weight, and last night we found blood in the cat box. Thursday Bear will take her into the vet and we'll see what he says.

I hate thinking that this is the end. On the bright side, she's still eating and drinking and purring and doesn't seem uncomfortable, just lethargic and...well, old. And tired.

Thursday we'll know.

3 comments:

April said...

My heart is with you and her. That must be so hard. My boys (littermate shelter rescues at 5 wks old who had to be bottlefed) will be 5 this year. The thought of the end happening at some point dissolves me to absolute tears when I see one of their giant 20 pound frames amble by.

She is a beauty.

julia said...

Aw, Jess, that sucks. It's so hard to lose a pet. Fifteen is a good age for a cat, but still...it seems like such a short time.

Lily's Mama said...

Sending positive vibes for Panda at the vet today. It is so hard to lose a pet, no matter if they have lived for their life expectancy or not. They are a part of our families and we love them so much. I lost my first Bernese Mountain Dog last March and I still think about him all the time. I get some comfort knowing that he had the best life possible and was treated like a member of the family.