Whole lot of nothing going on

Last week, I got covid. For the third time, and this one was unpleasant in ways that I don't really want to talk about. (Life tip: NO ONE wants to hear about the bathroom, ever, not even your most dedicated and trapped audiences. Just NO.) So, while I was at home, languishing away, I had an expensive bout of car trouble, my husband lost his fledgling job, and my job took a side-step into the realm of the probably-gonna-be-okay-but-ABSURD-right-now.

Of course.

I am so, so lucky that I have a family that will listen to me blather on about should I go? Should I stay? without wincing, and lucky I have friends that keep me grounded.

So today was my first day back to work. Several Bad Things had happened last week while I was gone, and I made some headway on clearing those up, and helped with a sudden Bad Thing that cropped up today. I also watered the plants.

And now, I'm home, with the fan going, and there's

...a whole lot of nothing going on.

And I LIKE it.

A couple of big blows

 Snow, that is. My province has been hit hard this year.  We're still digging out from the St. Valentine's day storm, and we might find Cape Breton (in the eastern-most part of Nova Scotia) in May or June. There are still people trapped in their houses out there.

And it's bitter cold.

It's still cold enough, in fact, to make winter food like chili and soups and dumplings, but the sunny days make me want salads and barbecue and warmer things.

Ah, who am I kidding. I'd give a lot to see a robin or a crocus or anything growing free.

Groundhogs. Lousy liars.

Something about Christmas time

 The tree is up. Yes, I tried to put it off as long as I could, but this year as soon as American Thanksgiving was over, my daughter INSISTED and we got everything out. And it's pretty and nice to look at in the evenings but a solid MONTH of Christmas flash and dash stretches out in front of me like a long hard road.

Buying Christmas gift for young adults (um, mah baybee is NINETEEN) isn't nearly as fun as it used to be ('What do you want for Christmas?' 'Um, an Amazon card?' SIGH) since they already know what they're getting, but it's definately easier. There's not a lot of running around the malls anymore.

Which is good, because somehow, in the past month, I've managed to have an outbreak of shingles, gave my vaccinated daughter chickenpox,  and then went through Covid afterwards. (Because the first wasn't ...fun enough?)  So we've been all kinds of fun at our house.

Christmas can't come fast enough. The lights are pretty and all, but right now, my favourite present is going to be a NAP.

Well, that went quickly...

I'm having a visitor this summer! Dad is coming up!

He had a suggestion "Maybe Casbah could get his passport, fly down, and drive [with Dad] back up to Nova Scotia?" 

Casbah loved the idea. ESPECIALLY when he found out Dad was bringing the MGB.

So! Passport has been ordered. Ferry bookings made. Now trying to find Dad an air b&b and some airline reservations for Cass - and trying to figure out how to cram thirty years worth of flying-alone wisdom into my never-flown kid.

Psh. It seems a very short time ago he was holding my hand when we crossed the road, and now....now he's going to fly by himself.

( I'm honestly not freaked about him being in an airplane hundreds of feet above the earth  -  I'm thinking of my poor kid being confused and lost in an airport.)

(Also still salty about the fact that I'VE never driven the MG. Okay - to be perfectly honest...  never driven the MG when Dad's OKAYED IT.)

crick in my neck

 I spent the whole weekend looking up!

Saturday evening was spent at the beach (Nova S has gorgeous beaches, both inland and Atlantic-Ocean-side) staring at the skies with a really nice group of people, looking for shooting stars. The company was fantastic, the food awesome, and the fire was great. And the scenery! The stars just go on **forever** out there. A patchwork of heavens.

It's easier to draw a deep breath out there, with the waves lapping the shore and stars streaking through the night. There was a moment when everything looked like a negative

Sunday was a different kind of look up - we had torrential thunderstorms, complete with pink jagged lightning and big old boomers. Rora, who has never met a storm she couldn't bark her indignation at, was in fine form. THEN we lost power, and everything...stopped. Bear woke me, muttering about checking the basement (we just had a very expensive experience with flooding and replacing things down there) and needless to say....I didn't sleep much after that.

But! dawn came. And now the day is sullen and grey, but warming. People are walking their dogs in shorts and the region is here, clipping the weeds that have grown in the cracks in the pavement. 

Happy Monday! It's going to be a great week, I can just feel it.

I should take my own parenting advice

 Anyone ever get a weird vibe about what might have been?  I was browsing through some of my Facebook feed and  spotted some (not mine) reunion pictures - and I went to bed thinking "what if..."

What if I'd married the serious boyfriend?

What if I'd married the boy next door?

What if I'd married the boy who was in love with me?

What if I still lived where I grew up?

Who would I be?

Welllll, the serious boyfriend is still a friend on Facebook, but we kinda don't share the same core political values and we're both quite outspoken. (AKA: there would be noisy fights at the Thanksgiving table) He's chosen a life I can't see myself living, although I think he has peace with it. 

 The boy next door - le sigh. I still sneak peeks at his profile every once in awhile just to see how he's doing. And I miss who he was, although I'm not sure we'd like each other if we just met now.

The boy who was in love with me - ahhh. He was (and still is!) a sweetie. His lovely wife and brilliant children do him credit. He is, of them all, the one who turned out the most like I thought he would - a creative, science-y career, a lovely life.

I'm really, truly afraid that if I hadn't uprooted everything and moved here I'd still be moribund, still stuck doing all the same old things - and never feeling the need to change.

I guess I gave myself roots and wings, and I soared.

No, seriously

 Uncle.

First this summer we had a cold snap, then huge roaring forest fires in several areas of the province, and last week we had flooding.

I'm afraid to ask when the locusts are going to arrive.

Today: the sun is out, bicyclists are whizzing past, there's a lovely breeze - it's a lovely, hot summers day. 

But there's a part of me that's afraid to see what tomorrows weather will bring.

Plugging away

'Start as you mean to go on' - it's one of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me, and simultaneously one of the hardest to fulfill. I mean, doesn't everyone want a day off from responsibilities sometimes? Still, it's great counsel. And I'd be a fool not to at least TRY to keep up my jobs. (That laundry isnt going to do itself, no matter what other plans you have or other chores you have. It's just not. The House Hippoes are not coming to save me. More's the pity.) A lot changes in a few weeks. Rosey-roo has a new major, a new beau, and a new outlook, and Casbah has (dare I say it?) figured out that he really likes Health Care. Bear is just (just!) coming off a seven-month oddysey of carpal tunnel surgery that didnt work, and a *lot* of physical therapy. Not only has this been distressing and horrible for him, it's done a number on our finances as well. I've been trolling the internet, looking for something part-time. A side-gig. I'm leery of the 'You can make thousands a week!' people and unimpressed with the "Click here! Do this! Watch the money roll in!" crows, which leaves me...I don't know. Confused, I think they call it. But still plugging away.

Canada Day, hoo-ra!

Say hey for a three-day weekend! Especially one where everyone barbecues and has long, lazy mornings. I'm on my third cup of coffee, and feeling fine. Enough of my house-chores are done so now i can curl up and read, or even (heaven!) think about taking a nap. The downside of a holiday falling on the weekend? The usual errands can't be done. No grocery shopping (did a lot of that last night, where I spent a few minutes staring slack-jawed at the wall of empty shelves where the bread usually is displayed. Holy canolli, people, the store will be closed ONE DAY. ONE. Lets not panic all at the same time. But! Some of the tiny mom-and-pop stores are still open. Maybe, later, a drive and an ice-cream on the beach? Sounds like something the rebels that made Canada might be proud of. Freedom, choice, and a good sweet treat. Happy Canada Day, y'all.

Sputtering

I keep trying to restart this, and fading out. It's disappointing, because I love this space and all the voices that have piped up with me along the way. I need to do better! I'm at work this morning, grabbing a few minutes to drink coffee (heavily, Mondays are NOT fun 'round here) and blurt out what's going on right now. Hum. Work: BUSY. The office just opened up a second, related-but-not-quite-the-same venture in the same building, and the new people and new energy has been great. And while the new bit isn't really causing me much extra work (right now, it has the possibility to add to my workload once it really starts going) it's really, really nice to see the smiles on peoples' faces when they leave. The law office across the street just changed hands and the new owners are turning it into a restaurant, complete with new doors and new bricking. That part has been interesting too, watching the re-assembling of this stately old building to be something new and modern while still preserving its roots. Home: BUSY. I've been starting a 'Throw away five things a day' (because the husbeast doesn't notice clutter and mess makes my left eye twitch) and while somedays I'm really good about it "The tatty bathroom rug goes OUT! The bottles of leftover shampoo in the shower go OUT!" somedays I'm throwing away grocery receipts and counting my five things in mismatched socks. I need to do better. Rosey and Cass are grown up and working, and Roo is returning to college this fall. Cass is taking a few semesters off to work in the new section of my office (and he's LOVING it) and is re-thinking his career trajectory. He still loves his chosen field of study but is realistically looking around and noticing that YEARS of school might not be a good plan right now. Rosey is spreading her wings - two jobs, a vibrant social life and ideas about how she wants to live. She still makes time so we can go get boba on the weekends, though. It makes her old mom feel good. What's going on with you?

Bookin’

I took about a hundred names off my facebook friend list tonight. Really, it went surprisingly quickly, with only a few 'who was this again?' moments. I was surprised how many different groups of people I have as friends on facebook, and how looking at them can show the course of my life like a big old patchwork quilt. Bloggers, of course, then high-school and university friends, different jobs and peer groups, so many memories! then a huge group of 'people-I-know-but-not-really', and its that group I culled through tonight. Sub-groups as well, including 'Oh, yes, I knew your sister' and 'Yes, we do work at the same place, but we haven't said anything to each other on here in a year' and 'I like your posts but not your attitudes' and the whammo 'Why did I ever???' Waaay back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Facebook was a young'un, there were Lists. I feel like i could use a few of those to help me sort these remaining people. The strange thing is, I doubt many of the deleted ones will notice I'm gone, really. Which means I've done a very-overdue thing. Feelin' fine tonight.